


The Nic Cage Hoax

by Mirror_Verse, nekoshojo, NinaRooxx



Series: Mirror-Verse [42]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - Domestic, Humor, M/M, Prank Wars, Pranks and Practical Jokes, Sexual Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-15
Updated: 2013-05-15
Packaged: 2017-12-11 23:37:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,969
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/804558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mirror_Verse/pseuds/Mirror_Verse, https://archiveofourown.org/users/nekoshojo/pseuds/nekoshojo, https://archiveofourown.org/users/NinaRooxx/pseuds/NinaRooxx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>April 1st with the Novaks.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Nic Cage Hoax

**Author's Note:**

> Art done by [Nekoshojo.](http://nekoshojo.tumblr.com)

It was almost 4 AM on this Monday morning - and thank God he was unemployed - as Balthazar tried to unlock the door to his apartment. His vision was blurry because of all the alcohol he drank at the party he left about half an hour ago and he leaned his head against the door, grinning as he finally managed to slide the key into the lock.

 _Those Easter parties are insane_ , Balthazar thought and closed the door quietly behind him. The flat was already dark and no noise was coming from the rooms, so it seemed his brothers were asleep.  _Lame._ They just didn’t know what they’re missing out in their lives.

He sneaked into the kitchen and turned on the light, what he regretted immediately because  _why is the fucking lamp so bright?_ It took about 30 seconds until his eyes adjusted to the lightness and he staggered to the fridge. There was this MIGHTY NEED FOR GREASY AND SALTED FOOD. He needed it. Right now.

 

Successfully he found leftover fries from a popular restaurant and put it in the microwave for about one minute. He couldn’t wait any longer than that anyway. With tired eyes and a beginning headache he looked around the kitchen. On the table lay a few bills, the new issue of “Cupcakes today” and a note which implied that Lucifer really needed to get a life.

 

The microwave beeped and with a silent thud he put the plate with the fries onto the table, as it happened.

 

Suddenly everywhere in the apartment alarm clocks started to go off. Everywhere was this loud and annoying peeping tone. Balthazar looked around the kitchen in horror; adrenaline was pumping through his veins. Those fucking clocks were going to wake up his brothers; those fucking clocks were going to INCREASE HIS HEADACHE. It seemed like there were about three clocks alone in the kitchen, hidden in places he couldn’t make out.

 

“GABRIEL, YOU LITTLE SHIT. I’M GONNA KILL YOU.”

 

Oh no.

 

“THAT WASN’T ME, YOU FUCKER. BALTHAZAR!!”

 

What the-

 

Balthazar couldn’t barely hear the angry footsteps towards him because THOSE FUCKING CLOCKS. He stopped searching for the alarm clocks and turned around to his two very sleepy and raging brothers. “Whoa, boys. You look like shit.”

 

“Haha, very funny. Just stop your stupid April fool’s prank and die,” Lucifer growled and glared at the man in front of him.

 

“Woah, easy there, tiger.” Balthazar raised his hands in protection. “I just came home and I’m drunk and…woah Gabe, do you have a new shampoo?”

 

“DAMMIT, BALTHY.” Gabriel yelled at him and stepped into the kitchen. “Where are the damn clocks?” He began to search for the sources of ear-cancer between pots and pans in the kitchen cabinet - almost driving him insane. Lucifer joined him in the search for the clocks.

 

“I got one!” Lucifer yelled from behind the sofa, “What the hell is this? Why is there a picture of Nic Cage on this?”

 

Balthazar and Gabriel walked to him and stared at the photo. “Okay, that’s disturbing,” Balthazar babbled.

 

Gabriel glared at him for a few seconds. “So, You weren’t it either?” he asked and watched Balthazar shaking his head followed by a silent cry of pain and holding his head. The shorter man pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. “But who was it? AND OH GOD. PLEASE CAN WE FIND THE THINGS FIRST?”

 

—-

 

Half an hour and a very awake apartment building later - “STOP IT, YOU LITTLE SHITS” “WE’RE TRYING, ASSHOLE.” - the three of them found all alarm clocks in the apartment and smashed every one of them out of anger.

 

Balthazar, Lucifer and Gabriel stared at the little pile of broken metal pieces and ripped photos of Nicolas Cage, still grinning at them. “Okay, I think I need a drink. You too?” Balthazar asked his brothers while turning to the fridge and taking out an open bottle of red wine.

 

“No, I’m- I’m good. What’s with the fries here?” Gabriel pointed to the abandoned plate on the kitchen table.

 

“Oh yeah! My fries!” The not-so-drunk-anymore-but-still-hungry Novak took the salt shaker off the shelf, tipped it up, and let out a cry as the lid fell off and pepper poured onto the fries. The three men stared silently in disbelief at the plate in front of them.

 

“Okay, we need to find the asshole who did this.”

 

—-

 

After a nap for a few hours Gabriel was the first of them who was awake, he went straight to the kitchen cupboard and grabbed his mug - the one with the pink bonbons on it. He looked around the kitchen, carefully and suspicious. Something wasn’t right here and he knew it.

 

He opened the fridge and caught the milk carton, stopped in his motions and sniffed on it. The milk didn’t smell funny - so the milk was okay, right? He poured it into his mug and realized that the milk was fucking violet. There was food dye in the milk, for God’s sake. Gabriel grunted in annoyance at the mystery prankster’s antics and tasted it cautiously. It wasn’t off, just colorful - he figured he was going to use it anyway; and poured cocoa into his milk. With a little spoon he stirred his beverage until it had an ugly grey-brown color.

 

Gabriel made a grimace in disgust and sighed.  _At least it’s liquid and not some viscous grey goo. Ugh_ , he thought and reached for the sugar bowl, tried to open the lid that won’t come off. “Oh come on!” he mumbled desperately and put the bowl away. Biting his lower lip he thought about how he used all the other brown sugar for baking on the day before.

 

“Fuck you, asshat,” he whispered to himself as he took the mug to his lips and sipped the less sugary beverage. “Fuck you.”

 

—-

 

Sleepy, Lucifer went into the bathroom and looked at his tired face in the mirror. There were giant circles under his eyes and he swore to himself never to play online board games that long in the night. But dammit, it was fun.

 

He checked the bathroom door, making sure he locked it and began to undress himself. After turning on the radio he grabbed his towel to hand it over the heater - as suddenly “I’m too sexy” by Right Said Fred came on the radio station. The blonde man grinned like a devil - he would never admit it but he fucking loved this song and not only because it was one of Gabriel’s favorite songs - and began to dance. He used his towel as a microphone while he was moving his mouth silently to the lyrics, he spun around but his legs got all twisted in the bath mat. It was unavoidable for him to fall over on the tiled floor with a loud thud. “DAMMIT.”

 

“LUCI. I TOLD YOU A THOUSAND TIMES TO STOP DANCING TO MY SONGS IN THE BATHROOM,” laughed someone on the outside.

 

“I WASN’T DANCING, GABE.”

 

“YEAH. SURE.”

 

Lucifer got up again, looking at his knee where he discovered a little bruise. “Great,” he grumbled while stepping into the bathtub and drawing the shower curtain. Grumpily he turned on the water when suddenly green water was flowing on him.

 

“What the-,” he jumped on the side so that the water wasn’t pouring on him and he looked up in disbelief. The shower head was wrapped in cling film that was covered in previously dry paint, fixated with a rubber band.

 

He stood with his hands on his hips and had to close his eyes to calm himself down. He tried. He really tried.

 

“GABRIEL!!”

 

—-

 

The morning sun shone into his face as Lucifer threw him out of bed. Gabriel stood at the window and let go of the cord he had opened the blinds with. Confused and with a pulsating head he blinked at his two brother. “What the hell? What time is it?”

 

“It’s 7 AM,” Lucifer stated and glared at his younger brother.

 

“Dudes, it’s in the middle of the night. Just let me-,” Balthazar observed his brothers, warily. Especially Lucifer who seemed to be a little bit green, and was that mayonnaise in his hair? “I guess something happened again?”

 

“Don’t play the choirboy here,” the shortest man in the room snapped at him.

 

“I don’t! I swear to my favorite orgy bottom I have nothing to do with this,” Balthazar stood up and faced his brothers. Frowning, he turned to Gabriel. “What about you? You’re the Trickster here; you’re playing pranks all the time. I bet it was you and you’re just playing surprised and angry.”

 

Gabriel glared at him, folded his arms in front of his chest. “You know I don’t play pranks on the first of April. That’s not my style. I play pranks when people don’t expect them to happen.”

 

Balthazar observed the younger man and nodded slightly. “Okay… but what about you, Luci? You were the one who found the first alarm clock, though.” His gaze changed to his older brother, how folded his arms in front of him, too.

 

“Yeah, and I love it to wash my hair with mayonnaise in green paint water. I. AM. NOT. THE. PRANKSTER. HERE.” Lucifer yelled at them, what caused Balthazar to hold his head because of his hangover.

 

“Yeah, yeah. It’s fine. But one of us is lying,” Balthazar sighed and sat down on his bed again.

 

“Whatever. We have to go to work now. And we want you to find all the little pranks that got hidden around here,” Gabriel pointed with a finger at him what caused Balthazar to raise one eyebrow. “And the most important thing: Fix the sugar bowl.”

 

—-

 

Balthazar walked around the apartment, looked in every space he thought there could be something hidden but all he found were stupid pictures of Nicolas Cage. Even the family photo album was stuffed with his face all over everyone’s face. It was hilarious he had to admit. But he couldn’t find anything else. Maybe there weren’t any pranks left? He really hoped so.

 

After an hour of peeling the glue away slowly, Balthazar finally got the sugar bowl open “Success!” To celebrate his victory, he dipped a licked finger in and popped it into his mouth. Every mucous membrane in his mouth contracted to this sensation.  _SALT._ With his eyes all teary, he decided to do less dangerous things like surfing the internet - what wasn’t a synonym for watching porn, it totally wasn’t.

 

He grabbed his laptop from Gabriel’s and his room and threw himself on the couch in the living room, looked around once more while the computer booted up. Yep. Nothing to see. He double-clicked onto his browser icon as the horror revealed itself.

 

Someone changed the WIFI password. There was no possibility for him to be on the internet. Someone changed it. Someone who knew how computers worked. Or someone who was friends with someone who knew how computers worked.

 

Or someone who was friends or in love with someone who had a brother who knew how computers worked.

 

Balthazar looked up from his monitor, glaring into nothing and whispered:

 

“Cas.”

 

—-

 

About 24 hours before…

 

“Okay, that’s the last clock,” Cas said to his friend who grinned all over his face.

 

“That’s great!” Dean examined the list in his hand. “I think we did it all.”

 

“I still don’t know if some of the pranks were a good idea. My brothers are going to be furious.” Cas frowned at his friend.

 

“And that’s-,” Dean put his hand on Cas’ shoulder, beaming at him. “totally the point.”

 

Castiel’s heart pounded heavily in his chest at the sight of his best friend smiling that happily at him. Swallowing, he glanced shortly to Dean’s hand and then back to the green eyes of his, causing him to return the smile. “Yeah, you’re right.”

 

“Damn sure, I’m right. Your brothers played so many pranks on us and on Sammy. They should swallow their own medicine for once,” he laughed and as he realized that he still had his hand resting on Castiel’s shoulder, he blushed and pulled it back. Dean cleared his throat and looked at their list again. “Uhm, we hid the alarm clocks, glued the sugar-now-salt bowl, colored the milk, installed the cling film on the shower head, put mayonnaise into the shampoo bottle-”

 

“And we hid Nicholas Cage’s face everywhere, even on my face in the photo albums,” Castiel interrupted.

 

“Yeah,” Dean scanned the list once more. “And Sammy changed the WIFI password and had I told you that he even found Balthazar’s porn folder on his computer?”

 

Castiel looked shocked at his smirking friend. “No, he didn’t-”

 

“Yes, he did. He changed all the porn into Nic Cage movies and I exchanged the lube with some glowing gel shit. Can you imagine how Balthy just wants to jerk himself off with some glowing lube while he opens  _City of Angels_? It’s hilarious.”

 

His friend made a disgusted face. “I really don’t want to imagine that. That’s my brother you’re talking about.”

 

“Yeah, yeah.. you’re right, sorry. It’s gross. But so  _damn_ hilarious.”

 

Castiel snorted and shook his head. “Whatever, Dean. But we should go now.”

 

“Okay, but let me just swap the salt with pepper and then we’re done.”

 

—-

 

1st of April again, little later that day…

 

Dean was sitting in the Celestial Café, drinking some fancy new coffee flavor as Castiel walked up to him. The boy smiled immediately at him. “Hey, Cas. Have you heard anything from your brothers yet?”

 

The shorter boy shook his head as he put down his tray on Dean’s table to took out his phone from his jeans pocket. “No, still nothing,” he stated after looking on the display.

 

Dean raised one brow at his friend. “That’s strange. Isn’t it?”

 

“Yeah,” Castiel sighed, staring lost in thought onto the table in front of him. “But maybe they are too busy to blame each other. Maybe they don’t expect anything yet.”

 

“You think?”

 

“I don’t know…”

 

A man entered the little café and walked towards the counter where he asked one of Castiel’s coworker about something. At first the dark-haired boy didn’t notice him but had to look up to the man as he approached.

 

Cas stared at him in surprise when the man was passing him a bunch of red roses. “Good afternoon! The lady told me that you’re Mr Novak?” Castiel nodded slightly. “Great. I am supposed to deliver these to you. Sender happens to be a Ms Masters?”

 

Dean wanted to jump up and tell him to fuck off but Castiel reacted quickly and raised a hand to stop him, glancing at him. “Uhm, yes, thank you,” Castiel said and accepted the bunch. “Have a nice day.”

 

“Thank you, sir. You too.” The man left the café while Castiel observed the card that was added to the bunch.

 

“Dude, what the hell?”

Castiel could sense that Dean was furious but he knew better. “Dean, just relax.”

 

“Just relax?”

 

“Yeah, because I just stopped you from punching him in the face and he was just a bearer of news.”

 

Castiel glared at Dean whereupon he slumped back into his seat. That was almost the same mistake he did two weeks before - he really had to keep calm.  _Dammit._

 

“Besides-,” his friend tossed the attached card to Dean. “I don’t think Meg sent those. I’m positive that’s a prank of my brothers.”

 

Dean picked up the card that said  _wanna touch your tralala! xx meg_. The boy frowned at it and looked up to Cas, grinning. “So, you’re saying our pranks were a raving success?”

 

—-

 

Dean got home two hours later, walked straight into his room after he looked for his absent little brother and switched on the lights. He paused in his actions as he gazed over his room.

 

Everything was pasted with pictures. Pictures of a really scary face of his favorite actor. Every fucking free space of his room had Misha Collins’ face on it - even the empty beer cans that stood on his drawer. The window was decorated with pictures and his blanket was shrouded in them, too.

 

He didn’t know why but this was making him very uncomfortable. It was like a Mishapocalypse. Staring into his broken soul.

 

Swallowing, he took out his phone and typed a text message.

 

»I think ur bros were in my room those fuckers«

 

Just thirty seconds later his phone jingled.

 

«They were in my room, too. What have they done to yours?»

 

The boy guessed that he could never describe the horror that was in front of him, so he decided to take a photo and send it to his best friend.

 

»This. it’s like they’re staring into my fucking soul i s2g cas«

Two minutes later Dean received a photo of Castiel’s room, too. Apparently Cas and him were in the same terrifying situation. He could see Cas’ room, also decorated with photos of his favorite actor - Jensen Ackles. In brick pants.

 

«I don’t know if I’m going to be able to sleep tonight, though.»

 

Dean snorted. He bet that Cas was totally oblivious about the ambiguity of his statement.

 

»LOL yeah whatev man«

 

The boy threw his phone onto his bed and tried to sit on the with paper wrapped bed. What a day, he thought, sighing and laid down on his memory foam mattress. As he looked at the ceiling he almost choked on his own spit.

 

Not only was the ceiling repapered with the Misha face- no.

 

There was, as well, a poster-sized photoshopped photo of his best friend Cas in a very “compromising position”. DIRECTLY. OVER. HIS. BED.

  

 

“Yeah… I don’t know if I’m going to be able to sleep tonight, either”


End file.
